A Constant Change

The Green Umbrella

August 20, 2008 at 11:00 am (Uncategorized)

I am trying hard. I have opened it, closed it, tilted it, tried to force in obliquely but this green umbrella won’t just yield. It wouldn’t give in come what may. I have been carrying this green and wet umbrella since I do not know when. It has burdened me with its green moistness. It has made me feel glares all the way down. People have commented on me. I think I even heard a little girl say, “Mommy, is it a green umbrella?” I wished that time would just stop at the very moment and I would run back before everything started all over again. Have you ever felt wet all inside you? I felt it today even though I was carrying an umbrella, a green umbrella. It was supposed to help me keep dry, but with this wretched thing, all I am now is red and wet, not even green.

I don’t even know how it got stuck there. I was so at ease when I finally felt I was reaching the stinking place I had to be. Not that the stink eased my senses, nor do I not feel repelled by this most disgusting stink which keeps flowing into my senses all day and night and makes me hate my existence to the core but I was happy that finally my possession would not be mocked any more. Less did I know that my intentions were going to be nullified in the matters of the thing which people keep cribbing about called “time”. I am quite unaware of this thing called time. I am quite unsure it really exists unless of course it is made tangible by travelling through it. All that has passed has no more existence than memories in our conscience and all that is to come is nothing more than a fear and anxiety of the future. Time, thus, can never be understood, seen, felt, known or materialised but all would keep fighting for it and keep making fuss about it for no worthwhile reason whatsoever.

I have to stop this habit of wavering off at tangents and relating the glory of my philosophical pinnacle which just keeps on rising further and further with every revelation life opens in front of me, which it just did while I was struggling to get the green umbrella out of where it got stuck. It just occurred to me so why I was carrying this umbrella with me everywhere. Why do I face embarrassment at the hands of the entire humanity to keep it safe and that too everyday. At that very spur of a moment in which I heard my inner voice, came a tearing sound. And poof went the umbrella!!!

I left it there, stuck and torn, in the filth. I reached in, breathed in the stink, thought of all that I dwelled in today, and just smiled at the thought of all who have to carry each their own green umbrellas till it got stuck somewhere…